Sitting at the edge of the bed beside Amara’s bed, Akina touched her friend’s bare shoulder. “You look pale and weak. Are you ill?” “Didn’t you hear?” Ihara said, shifting uncomfortably on the bed, and trying to sit up. “Hear what?” “I’ve become a full woman now,” she said. Akuna frowned in disgust. “You’ve been […]
Sexual Purity and Purity Culture: My Thoughts
Today, years later, I still believe in and encourage sexual purity. It is scriptural, saves you lots of heartaches, and helps you protect yourself from diseases, but I don’t subscribe to the purity culture our predecessors practiced. It objectifies women and places her worth on the presence or absence of a membrane on her body. That is not godly because God sees us as his children despite our many flaws and imperfections. Therefore, I strongly advocate for us to teach boys and girls to abstain from sex until marriage. I advocate for girls to stop being blamed for boys’ mistakes. Rather let’s instruct and teach both genders sexual purity. Not because virginity makes you a superior human (and in most cultures, females) but because it is a commandment in the Bible and honours God.
When Acts of Service Are Gendered
A post about a couple that went for an event trended on Twitter some time ago because the woman served herself but didn’t serve her husband. People said different things. Many people blamed the wife for eating without making sure her husband had food to eat. They saw her as irresponsible, uncaring and some might […]
Can All Women Really Multitask?
Clara, a young mother of two was recently hired in a company she had always wanted to work in. On her first day, her boss asked her to go through the journal that contained his weekly schedule and sort out the important meetings into a to-do list he would work with that week. Important meetings […]
Why Some Women don’t like the term ‘Wife Material’?
A lot of people, including me, have never been comfortable with the “Wife-Material” tag. The reasons are quite glaring. When an average Nigerian calls you a wife material, they mean that you are a perfect definition of society’s stereotypical woman. They see you as someone who is living a script, not necessarily as someone […]
THE OUTSIDER WIFE
Linda stared at her wedding picture that was framed nicely and sitting beside the bedside table. She couldn’t believe that Derrek had gone too soon. They had big plans. They had wanted to travel the world, expand their business and build a large family. They had wanted to help people in their community. All these […]
WILLIAM AND RITA
PREPARING MEN FOR EMPOWERED WOMEN William and Rita have been married for three years. William has been comfortable with being the breadwinner while Rita stays home and does the chores. Rita has always wanted to further her studies and join the workforce. After the birth and the weaning of their second baby boy, she asked […]
THE WIFE MATERIAL TEST
Daniella’s lower lip twitched as they pulled up at Moses’ family house – a beautiful maroon bungalow. After two years of dating, Moses was finally ready to introduce her to his mother before taking their relationship a step further. She was scared and nervous at the same time. “Would she like me?” she asked Moses […]
STOP THE CRUCIFIXION; SOME SKILLS ARE NOT INNATE
Society puts so many ridiculous expectations on women and sometimes experiencing it or thinking about it drives me crazy. One of the those I really hate is how you, as a woman, is expected to know how to handle a baby perfectly even when you have never had one around you all your life. Nobody […]
WOMEN WITH ONLY DAUGHTERS ARE NOT LESS; CHILD-BEARING NOT A METRIC FOR DETERMINING WOMANHOOD
“Congratulations Mr Jeremiah. It’s a girl.” Jeremiah hissed at his wife turned, walked out of the hospital and drove off leaving mother and his fifth daughter to sort themselves out. Tears ran down Angela’s face. Why was their having girls her fault? Why couldn’t he just accept that children were not hers to give […]